All The World’s A Stage: Farmyard Frolics
This issue’s exclusive reports from the Xena soundstages kick off with a behind-the-scenes account of the making of Old Ares Had a Farm. There's lust and laughs aplenty, with our heroes enjoying the simple, earthly pleasures with the former God of War. Report by Kate Barker.
Official Xena Magazine: Issue 17
Poor old Ares.
Once the powerful God of War, he's recently been demoted by his unrequited love for Xena to plain old mortal status. In the sixth season premiere Coming Home, he was tormented by the Furies in the guise of Xena, Gabrielle and Eve, driven temporarily insane enough to lose face in front of his armies, and turned down by the real Xena, again.
In Old Ares Had a Farm, Ares is being tormented yet again, this time by the soldiers of his armies who want to take advantage of his now-mortal state. Who can he turn to? Well, it has to be Xena, of course.
Naturally, a disguise is needed. With a little ingenuity, Ares is hidden behind the persona of a weather-beaten elderly farmer and sent to live out in the middle of nowhere in a rustic, animal-filled farmyard.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, yes, this is a comic episode.
The outdoor farmyard set is most picturesque, complete with overgrown tracks, chimney-smoking cottage and a menagerie of farmyard animals. Add to that the actors Kevin Smith, Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor, two horses and an excited dog, and the film crew certainly have their work cut out for them!
“We’ve got so many different animals in every shot,” says art director Roger Guise. “There really is no easy way to shoot them.” He gives the example of the scene currently being filmed, in which Xena and Gabrielle - with dog in tow - ride up on horseback to check on Ares and his animals. “What often happens in a scene like this is you have everything in position, and just when you’re ready to go, you hear, ‘Stand by, get ready…’ Then down goes the clapperboard, and all the ducks fly off!”
However, it's worth noting that it’s not always as difficult as it sounds. It’s sometimes hard work, of course, but Guise and the crew have learned how to deal effectively with situations like this, and have built up shortcuts and tricks of the trade that make their job on the set much easier.
“I have three members of the greens [setdressers] department out here today,” he says, “because it’s very much an outdoor shooting day. Wherever the camera points, the set has to look Xena-esque. When you’re filming like this - on a farm just outside the city - it might mean converting a mud-clay bank into something mossy, or it might be as simple as just blocking out a power pole that's in shot with some tall foliage.”
It’s amazing what a little moss can do, too. According to Guise, the easiest shot in Old Ares Had a Farm involved just a shrub or two to change an entire look, “it was largely an effort by the greens department,” he explains. “We made a standard road look like an overgrown track, and it was all pretty much down to the foliage. That’s a pleasant scene for us; we just make it look pretty. We plan ahead for everything as best we can, and have things on stand-by in case we need them.”
One of the things that’s been needed for a number of the scenes in this episode has been patience with the wilder members of the cast. The most difficult scene to shoot, explains Guise, involved a collection of “chickens, a goat, a cow, a pig and other animals and crew, all on what was quite a small wagon, and having them all perform on cue.”
Thankfully, everyone got through the scene in one piece, including Renee O’Connor, who had to ride alongside the animal-filled wagon on a horse called Cookie. “That’s probably the most interaction with animals that I’ve ever had,” says O'Connor, recounting her rather bemusing experience while rehearsing for the scene. “While one of the horse wranglers was leading my horse through the whole thing - past the wagon - trying to get the horse used to it, I was up there trying to get myself used to it too. When I passed by the wagon, I found myself trying
to coax the pig. I was saying, ‘It's okay,’ to the pig, trying to calm it down too! It soon became this trail of animals following me!”
An interesting fact to note about the pig in question is that it was actually the stand-in for the lead pig in the comedy blockbuster Babe. O’Connor seems most impressed with its performance. “The pig is a pure professional,” she says earnestly.
O’Connor and friends are pure professionals too, of course, which makes it easier for them to take the more unusual costumes they are wearing in this episode in their stride. In Old Ares Had a Farm, Xena and Gabrielle maintain the illusion of Ares as a farmer by appearing in some very out-of-character costumes. For Xena, it’s a cotton frock, sandals and daisies in the hair. For Gabrielle, a ‘farm wench’ style outfit: blue floral skirt, blue and white scarf and a frilly white top over a white floral bikini, reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe.
“I think it’s a cross between Ellie May [of The Beverly Hillbillies] and Mae West,” O'Connor responds when asked to describe the outfit. “It’s a smaller outfit than the last one I wore. You always think, ‘How can they get any smaller?’ But the producers manage it, I swear!
“I was saying to Kevin [Smith] yesterday that when you first try on these outfits, you’re completely embarrassed about having to walk around in them. But four or five days later, you forget about it completely. It just becomes another thing you have to do.”
Smith may not completely agree, given his current state of dress in this farmyard scene. On screen we see Ares - sans leather jerkin, in all his bronzed, bare-chested glory - welcoming Horace the puppy as it runs and plants kisses all over him. Even the sight of Smith in a state of undress prompts jibes from Lawless and O’Connor.
“We’re relying on Kevin Smith with his shirt off,” quips Lawless.
“We’re letting his famous abs carry the episode,” agrees O’Connor.
“Usually it’s Renee's abs, but we’re giving her a break today,” adds Lawless, straight-faced.
When Smith stands up for the next part of the scene, even director Charlie Siebert is impressed. “Kevin,” he calls to the actor, “are you standing on a step there?”
“No sir,” comes the reply.
Siebert looks surprised. “God, you’re tall! When did you get that tall?”
Near the beginning of the scene, Horace the dog (whose real name is Pippa) must run up to Ares - who is sitting on the steps - and jump up and lick his face. “There’s going to be a lot of dog action here,” the script supervisor comments to Roger Guise, and for that action to happen, Smith must have some additions to his costume.
Still in a riotous mood, O’Connor delights in explaining just what Smith has to go through to attract the dog. “They keep smearing meat jelly onto Kevin’s neck so he can get kisses from the dog!” she says, laughing. “If the meat jelly doesn’t stick, they come up with honey or melted butter and smear that on him as well. We’re about to witness that again... much to our collective amusement!”
So, does Gabrielle get to be kissed by the dog too? “No,” laughs O’Connor in mock disappointment. “Damn, huh?”