Scoundrels, Scamps & Scalawags
By Joe Nazzaro.
Xena’s reluctant allies in the battle against evil.
The Official Magazine: Issue 02
Scoundrel n. a mean, worthless fellow; villain. Scamp n: rascal, rogue. Scalawag n: scamp, reprobate.
Living in the pre-Hellenic world of Xena: Warrior Princess isn’t always easy. If a man can’t use a sword to solve his problems, he’d better be able to use his wits. During their travels, Xena and Gabrielle have run into a number of fast-talking, law-bending, morally-challenged individuals for whom truth is often a four-letter word.
The most notorious of these culprits has to be Salmoneus (played by Robert Trebor), who’s sold everything from air sandals to divine trinkets, and created the very first Olympic games and Xena’s very own theme song - a prerequisite for any up-and-coming Warrior Princess.
Although Xena and Salmoneus first crossed paths in the final two episodes of the Hercules trilogy, “The Gauntlet” and “Unchained Heart,” he made his first appearance in Xena: Warrior Princess in “The Black Wolf.” As usual, he’s up to his old tricks, trying to sell merchandise based on the Black Wolf, and eventually being mistaken for the rebel leader. Naturally, it’s up to Xena to pull his fat out of the fire; a fairly common occurrence where Salmoneus is concerned.
According to Xena’s supervising producer Steve Sears, the key to Salmoneus is that he’s not just a two-dimensional comic character. “Salmoneus is definitely a person who has a heart. He’s definitely a person who has to be involved with our plot, not just in the criminal or villain sense, or the buffoon sense. He should have a vested interest in everything that’s going on, but his only vocabulary and frame of reference is through business, so everything he says and approaches has got to be with a business mind. But we have to see that there’s a human being in there. It’s a really hard thing to do, because it’s too easy to play Salmoneus just as a buffoon. The heart is always the key with these characters.”
A decidedly different side of Salmoneus is seen in “The Greater Good,” where he’s found posing as Lord Seltzer and selling fizzy water to the villagers - as well as a defective metal that melts in water to Talmadeus, a local warlord. Salmoneus manages to redeem himself by defending the village when Xena appears to have been killed, and even offering himself to Talmadeus as a hostage.
“I like writing for Salmoneus,” says Sears, who managed to show a sensitive, even self-sacrificing Salmoneus in that episode. “He wasn’t just an add-on or comic relief. It’s one thing to write the character that way, it’s another to have the character realized that way. In the past, I’ve written a comic character with an emotional line, and when you see the actor perform it, the first thing that comes out in editing is that emotional line because they just can’t do it. Robert did it, and I remember he told me was able to lock into the emotional line, and it remained in the episode.”
By the time Salmoneus returned in “Here She Comes, Miss Amphipolis,” he was back with another get-rich-quick scheme, running a beauty pageant, which is quietly being sabotaged by one of the contest’s patrons. Somehow, he manages to cajole a reluctant Xena to go undercover to find the culprit. Eventually, she manages to expose the plot, and the winning contestant is crowned queen for a day - in more ways than one.
A very different scoundrel can be found in Autolycus, the self-proclaimed “King of Thieves.” Like Salmoneus, the character made his first appearance in an episode of Hercules, but it wasn’t long before he started making Xena’s life miserable as well. The two first matched wits (and sexual chemistry) in “The Royal Couple of Thieves,” where Xena hires Autolycus to help steal a chest containing the most powerful weapon in the world from the warlord Malthus. In order to get onto Malthus’ island, Autolycus disguises himself as the legendary assassin Sinteres, and Xena becomes his unwilling assistant. All goes well, until the real Sinteres shows up.
Autolycus shows himself to be a decent guy after all, when he helps Xena get her body back in “The Quest.” Of course the King of Thieves isn’t too enthusiastic about the idea, and his body is being possessed by Xena at the time, but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, shall we?
Sometimes a scoundrel doesn’t have any redeeming features at all, which is certainly the case with the scheming King Sisyphus in “Death in Chains.” Sisyphus, who would later spend the better part of eternity pushing a large rock up a hill, manages to trap Hades’ sister Celesta. Xena has the tall order of rescuing Death, fending off the warlord Toxeus and his men, and making sure Sisyphus gets his just deserts. Ten dinars if you can guess the winner.
Speaking of money, Xena’s old love Petracles (a pretty big scoundrel in his own right) wanders back into her life in “A Fistful of Dinars.” This time Xena and Gabrielle team up with Petracles along with the assassin Thersites to track down a lost treasure. Gabrielle disregards Xena’s warning to stay well away from her conniving ex-boyfriend, but Petracles turns out to be actually quite noble when he sacrifices his life to save Gabrielle.
Finally, there’s Meleager the Mighty, who’s not very mighty any more. In “The Prodigal,” Gabrielle discovers the once-powerful warrior hired to protect her village doesn’t live up to his press; in fact, the most powerful weapon of this drunken ex-hero is his breath. Eventually, Gabrielle gets him to see the error of his ways, and Meleager pitches in to save the village.
By the time Meleager returns in “The Execution,” he’s back to his old tricks - or is he? The former warrior is being held for murder, and ironically, it’s Gabrielle who believes in him this time. Can she find the real murderer and save Meleager from certain death? Place your bets, folks.
With the third season of Xena: Warrior Princess, it seems almost certain that old friends like Salmoneus and Autolycus will make a return appearance at some point. It’s also certain that there are plenty of other rogues and rapscallions, waiting to earn a couple of dinars the easy way, so hold onto your money belts!