Muck Raking: Ted Raimi
This month, K. Stoddard Hayes fires questions at Ted Raimi, who takes the opportunity to display his trademark off-beat humour.
Official Xena Magazine: Issue 14
Birth name: Theodore Roosevelt Raimi. My real last name is Rajenveritz (pronounced roonjenveritz). It's Dutch; it means pure spice.
Nicknames: “Hey you!” “What's your name!” Oh, and (dumb voice), “You’re that guy. You're the guy with the funny hat.”
Favourite word: I have three favourite words: “That's lunch, everybody.”
Hometown: Detroit, Michigan
Current Residence: Los Angeles, California
Croutons or Bacon Bits? Croutons, definitely. Bacon bits are disgusting! Little bits of pig in a jar? What are you, insane? Who the hell would eat that?
Favourite Salad Dressing: Honey mustard.
Shampoo or Conditioner? Usually I like to eat shampoo and put some conditioner on my cereal.
Have you ever gone skinny dipping? No, I was too fat. (Long pause, followed by a really goofy laugh) Seriously? Yes, I've gone skinny dipping lots of times.
Do you make fun of people? Every day. I love to imitate my parents most of all and they seem to love it too. I imitate everyone. I imitate my brothers. I love to imitate Rob Tapert. I imitate Lucy and Renee all the time. I love it! It's probably my favourite thing to do. It gives me immense pleasure. In fact, when I hang up the phone with you, I'll imitate you as well!
Favourite colour? Burnt orange.
Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Yes. When I was 16 years old I rear-ended a cop car in Detroit. I was doing 40 and he was at a stop sign. I got taken to prison. They thought it was an assault on a police officer. It was bad. It wasn't fun at all.
One pillow or two? Two, definitely, I have a big head. [Cotton or feather?] Feather! Are you kidding me? Feather is the only way to go!
Any pets? I used to have a pet hamster but I had to give him up in the end because I kept going to New Zealand so much.
Favourite music? Marshall Crenshaw is probably my perennial favourite. I listen to him constantly. I also like Hall & Oates' new album, Marigold Sky. Gomez, Alex Gopher, some Cowboy Junkies, and lastly, I've been listening to the new Neil Young album, Silver and Gold.
Hobbies? I like to fix my 1963 Cadillac. I like to maintain my bicycle, take it apart and put it back together again. I like to do mechanical sorts of things. I also like to read voraciously, buy new music and goof around as much as humanly possible. I want to do as much as I possibly can before I die. I don't want to waste any time in my life.
Which toothpaste do you use? It's called Auromeri. It's from India. It's great. Kinda gritty, but great.
Favourite town to take it easy in? Detroit.
Favourite ice cream flavour? Coffee.
Favourite non-alcoholic drink? Coffee.
Adidas, Nike, Reebok or something else? Definitely something else. I don't wear gym shoes. I usually wear work boots or I wear these work shoes called Underground.
Favourite cologne? Men shouldn't wear cologne. That's for women to smell pretty for them. Men should have plenty of money in their pocket when they go out and listen carefully to what girls say, and not be a dummy, but they should definitely not try and smell better than the girl. That's a big mistake on a date. That's not their job.
Favourite subject in school? Definitely English. I hated math!
Favourite sport to watch? Demolition Derby.
What is your most humiliating moment? Every moment since the 10th grade.
What is your craziest or silliest idea? I thought I could make a fortune creating a Palm Pilot program for actors so they could get to auditions faster. Then I realised that any actor who needed that program was probably so broke he couldn't afford a Palm Pilot, so I dropped that pretty quick.
That's all, thank you. That was so much fun!