Fool’s Gold
Annoying upstart, or brave and trustworthy friend? K. Stoddard Hayes leads the case for the defence.
Official Xena Magazine: Issue 02
Joxer gets no respect. Xena frequently tells him to shut up. Gabrielle tweaks his nose and his ears, and thinks his name is “Jerkster” when she loses her memory. Autolycus calls him a ferret face. When he boasts that he is a mighty warrior, no one believes it, not even himself. And when he jumps into a fight, shouting dire warnings about what he will do to the enemy, he immediately gets flattened. He is so clumsy that he can trip on a smooth path, get tangled up in his own armour, or fall off a horse that is only walking. He is a terrible cook whose stew can sicken a whole army. It may take him a whole scene to figure out what Xena and Gabrielle spotted instantly, and any cunning plan he concocts is so obvious that a child can see through it.
Foolish, boastful, and inept, Joxer still has virtues that more than balance his faults. He may be too clumsy to pick up his sword without bashing his head, but he is brave enough to walk alone into Callisto’s lair to try to rescue his friends. He may be simple enough to lose his money to a fast-talking pair of swindlers, but he is also sensible enough to know when he needs Xena’s help. He may boast that he is a ruthless warrior, but he has a kind heart, and he will not kill deliberately, even when it is the price for joining Callisto's war band.
When we meet Joxer's brother Jett in King of Assassins, we finally understand why Joxer tried to join Callisto, and why he is so anxious to prove that he is a warrior and a hero.
“I was the black sheep. My father was a warlord, my mother was a warlord's wife. My whole family was like that. You can't imagine what it was like. Jett stole some horses. Jett torched a village. Jett killed the neighbours.' Who could compete with an overachiever like that?”
All his life, Joxer has been trying to prove he is as good a warrior as his brother. When the two meet face to face, Jett starts right in with the rough teasing and humiliation that he has obviously given Joxer since they were babies. It is clear that Joxer is afraid of his brother, but equally clear that despite their differences, the two still feel genuine affection for each other. And to Jett's surprise, Joxer has grown up enough to stand up to him.
When Joxer puts up his fists, to stop Jett from assassinating Cleopatra, Jett says, “Are you actually going to fight me?”
They both know Joxer doesn't stand a chance, but Joxer says, “I have to. It's who I am now.”
And no, he doesn't have a chance. Jett's first blow knocks him silly, leaving Xena to take care of Jett. Yet Jett has his own surprise for Joxer, when he gives up his chance to escape, so that he can kill the security chief who is about to cut Joxer's throat.
“Nobody hurts my brother. Except me,” he announces.
What Joxer could not do deliberately in Callisto, he does by accident in The Convert, when the warlord Kryton runs on the blade he is holding. It does not matter that the man was a savage killer. Joxer has taken a life for the first time, and his remorse only increases when he learns that Kryton has a son. Despite the admiration of the townsfolk and the encouragement of Xena and Gabrielle, his guilt torments him. “What kind of warrior kills somebody and then has nightmares about it every night?” he asks.
Joxer nerves himself to break the news to Kryton’s son himself. But when he learns that the boy believes his father was a hero, he can’t bring himself to shatter his illusions, because it would break Arman’s heart. “He worships the guy. Besides, every boy needs a hero... I’ve already killed Kryton once.”
When Arman learns the truth, he is ready to kill Joxer, until Kryton's men arrive to take their revenge. Arman has already spent enough time with Joxer to see the decent, compassionate man inside the moron. “My father’s not dead, Joxer,” he says, adding that the man he worshipped still lives in his own heart. “And that man would call you a hero.” Arman’s forgiveness allows Joxer to begin to make peace with himself.
A Comedy of Eros reveals one of the most important aspects of Joxer’s story. He has fallen in love with Gabrielle, who returns his love - until Cupid removes Eros's spell from her. When he tries to release Joxer from loving Gabrielle, two or three whacks on the lovesick warrior’s head have no effect.
“He's the real thing,” Xena tells Cupid.
“It happens,” says Cupid, and both shrug.
This revelation will colour all of Joxer’s relationship with Gabrielle, appearing in both the small moments and the large. In Been There, Done That, when Joxer learns that he died in the previous time loop and Gabrielle cried at his funeral, his face lights up.
“You cried for me?”
When Gabrielle pulls herself and Hope into the abyss in Sacrifice, the stricken look on Joxer’s face reminds us that in his own way he loves Gabrielle as much as Xena does.
In Forget Me Not, Joxer begins by altruistically trying to help Gabrielle recover her lost memories, until he realises what an opportunity he has. She will believe anything he tells her, so he tells her that he, not Xena, is the real hero, and that she is madly in love with him. It works much better than he planned. Gabrielle jumps on him. smothering him in the passionate kisses he has dreamed of - and he realises he cannot go through with it. He is too honest, and cares about her too much, to take advantage of her, so he sheepishly confesses.
For Him the Bell Tolls is the perfect Joxer fantasy, showing Joxer as he wishes to be, and as he really is. It's also one of Ted Raimi’s best tour-de-force performances. Throwing off his armour and his absurd helmet, Joxer changes at every ring of a bell from the swashbuckling romantic hero, to the scared-out-of-his-wits klutz and back again. One moment he walks out calmly to fight a whole warband single-handed; the next he has fainted dead away at the sight of their charge. One moment he begs to be spared execution, the next he coolly foils the headsman and fights off the king and his entire guard, while romancing all the women in the square, including Gabrielle.
When the dust of Aphrodite's temple finally settles and the spell is lifted, Joxer can recall everything that happened. He is both humiliated and discouraged by the contrast between the heroic Joxer and the reality.
“I'm a big phoney,” he tells Gabrielle. “You're the hero here. Even I know that. I don't even rate sidekick. I don't know why I'm hanging out with you guys. I don’t know why I convinced myself I ever could.”
“The gods can't give us anything that isn't in our hearts,” Xena tells him. “Aphrodite just used what was already there. The real Joxer may not be the best swordsman around, but he's always had the heart of a lion.”
Happily, Joxer’s optimism is as resilient as his dopey helmet. Xena’s encouragement is all he needs to set him happily singing again, and tagging along with his friends, certain that he is indispensable. As, indeed, he is.