Disclaimer 101
Our research expert K. Stoddard Hayes investigates one of Xena's most famous institutions.
Official Xena Magazine: Issue 23
What's short, clever, funny, and an indispensable part of almost every episode of Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys? What makes a devoted fan sit through to the very end of the credits of every new episode - while possibly standing only inches from the television and cursing the practice of running the credits on a split screen which is too small to read? Every fan knows the answer: the disclaimers.
For many years, films and television shows have included disclaimers in the end credits to reassure the innocent viewer that, no matter how much blood or gore is depicted, no actors, stunt performers, and especially no animals, have actually been harmed. In the past seven years, Renaissance Pictures has raised this simple and functional practice to an art form, executed with such skill and ingenuity, and indeed revolutionary creativity, that it will never be the same again.
Looking back from the end of this revolution, it’s hard to believe that the disclaimers aren’t always an indispensable conclusion to each episode. The earliest disclaimers only appear midway through the first season of Hercules. They are short and simple, the work of creators just discovering their art:
“No hydras were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (Pride Comes Before a Brawl)
“No Dogs of War were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (The Vanishing Dead)
They are even, at times, derivative, as in this classic, RSPCA-inspired disclaimer:
“No animals were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (The Warrior Princess)
The earliest Xena disclaimer, at the end of an episode about a baby, seems equally simple and serious:
“No babies were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (Cradle of Hope)
Even once the humorous disclaimers started up. not every episode had one, perhaps because they seemed at first more suited to comic episodes.
The early Hercules episodes without disclaimers are fairly serious in tone, such as Ares, Gladiator and The Gauntlet. The last Hercules episode without a disclaimer is Under the Broken Sky. The last disclaimer-less Xena episode is The Black Wolf, which aired about the same time. After these two episodes, however, the humorous disclaimer becomes a regular feature.
Very soon after this crucial turning point in the art of the disclaimer, another evolution occurs - the disclaimers become more elaborate:
“No Completely-Engulfed-in-Flames-Evil-Dudes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (The Fire Down Below)
“No Ambrosia was spilled, spoiled or in any way harmed during the making of this motion picture. (Thanks to the indefinite shelf life of marshmallows.)” (A Fistful of Dinars)
At the same time, the language of the disclaimer goes over the top, as if the creative staff, having recognised the importance of the disclaimer, have decided to experiment with how far they can push the form:
“No slightly soused kings-to-be who finally pull themselves up by their bootstraps and realise the true meaning of leadership were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (King for a Day)
We also observe new types of disclaimer beginning to emerge, most notably the disclaimer with a reservation. These new disclaimers, while they still assure us that no monster, centaur, or special effect was harmed, often express a reservation that something or someone might have been harmed after all. These exceptions usually start with the warning, “however”:
“No Oversized Polynesian-style Bamboo Horses were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many wicker lawn chairs gave their lives.” (Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts)
“Neither Typhon nor Echidna was harmed during the production of this motion picture. They went on to lead long and happy lives with their adopted family. However, attempts to reinflate Pylon were unsuccessful.” (Cast a Giant Shadow)
This “however” form is only the foreshadowing of the true revolution in the art. At the end of Xena’s first season, we see a disclaimer which avers that someone has been harmed:
“Being that war is hell, lots of people were harmed during the production of this motion picture (but since television is a dramatic medium of make-believe, all casualties removed their prosthetic make-up and went home unscathed).” (Is There a Doctor in the House?”
“Once again, Gabrielle’s luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (Blind Faith)
The ‘anti-disclaimer’ represents a complete reversal of the disclaimer’s original intent. For the first time, a studio reveals to us that, contrary to our expectations, what we are seeing comes to us with a price in harm and suffering. As both series continue, these ‘anti-disclaimers’ become more common, reflecting the greater and greater conflicts unfolding:
“Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship suffered another blow (although Gabrielle doesn’t know it yet) during the production of this motion picture.” (The Debt, Part II/Maternal Instincts)
“Gabrielle finally went off the deep end during the production of this motion picture.” (Sacrifice, Part II)
Soon, these anti-disclaimers tread on the edge of another controversial area: the Spoiler Zone. In the later seasons of Xena, the spoiler virgin takes great personal risks in reading the disclaimer before viewing the episode.
WARNING, MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD:
“Zeus cashed in his chips during the production of this motion picture.” (God Fearing Child)
“Joxer’s sudden and unexpected death slowed down his rapid ageing process during the production of this motion picture.” (Eve)
"All the gods were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (Motherhood)
With these spoiler disclaimers, the revolution is complete. Far from assuring us that every event is harmless, the creators of Xena and Hercules not only state that everyone has been harmed, but reveal critical plot points. And they still make us laugh.
The artistry of the disclaimers has become such an essential part of the Xena and Hercules universe that the disclaimer has become the common language of Xena/Hercules fandom. Look in this magazine’s masthead or on the home page of almost any fan web site, and you’ll find that these feature disclaimers of their own in emulation of this revolutionary art. No work paying tribute to Xena and Hercules can be complete without one.
No writer got eye strain while trying to read more than 200 episode end credits during research for this article. However, many pots of coffee gave their all.
SIDEBAR: Field guide to disclaimers
After years of intensive study, Xena and Hercules scholars have identified six basic types of disclaimers:
Standard
“No Xena fans were harmed in the making of this motion picture.” (Send in the Clones)
Standard with reservations
“Cupcake's sweet tooth was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, her love life experienced a slight setback.” (Men in Pink)
Anti-disclaimer
“The centaur population was severely harmed during the making of this motion picture.” (The Last of the Centaurs)
Informative
“WARNING: Crystal-waves were used during the production of this motion picture. Pregnant women should leave the room immediately.” (Atlantis)
Spoiler
“As the Fates would have it, Caesar was once again harmed during the making of this motion picture.” (When Fates Collide)
Tribute
“We gratefully acknowledge the lifelong inspiration Ray Harryhausen has provided on our journey through Filmland.” (Once a Hero)
SIDEBAR: The Disclaimer Awards
Xena: Warrior Princess Magazine pays tribute to the most outstanding disclaimers from Xena and Hercules.
Most verbose
“No giant poultry was tripped, plucked, barbecued, deep-fried, or otherwise assaulted during the production of this motion picture. Katherine's owners are orthodox vegetarians.” (One Fowl Day)
Most succinct
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” (Fallen Angel)
Most popular
“No centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.” (This disclaimer or a variation mentioning centaurs appears in As Darkness Falls, The Outcast, Centaur Mentor journey, Hooves and Harlots and The Last of the Centaurs)
Most informative
“If you would like to be a contestant on Wheel of Misfortune, simply send us a postcard and prepare to kiss your bottom goodbye.” (Stranger and Stranger)
Worst pun
“No permanent cases of Harpies were reported during the production of this motion picture.” (Beanstalks & Bad Eggs)
Worst spoiler
“Xena and Gabrielle were killed during the production of this motion picture.” (The Ides of March)
Most truthful
“No one was harmed in the making of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.” (Ten Little Warlords - a broken pelvis kept Lawless off camera for several weeks, and so became fair game for disclaimer humour)
Best evocation of a scene not portrayed on camera
“No flying horses were harmed in the making of this motion picture, although several villagers were bombarded with aerial manure.” (The Rheingold)
Best series disclaimer
“No ancient Greek myths were harmed during the production of this series, although some were altered for the entertainment and enjoyment of our audience.” (Full Circle)
SIDEBAR: Disclaimer Dictator
Liz Friedman recounts the origin of Xena and Hercules’ famous disclaimers. By Joe Nazzaro.
Many long-time viewers of Xena and Hercules are probably unaware that it was former staff writer and producer Liz Friedman who was responsible for the shows' disclaimers. It was her tongue-in-cheek handiwork that led to countless episodes being replayed in slow motion just for that final sentence or two.
“I think it was when we were doing As Darkness Falls, the first centaur episode we did in which Lucy played Lyla,” Friedman recalls. “It was just after Renaissance had got the pilot order for American Gothic, and David Eick, who'd been handling a lot of the post-production stuff, was getting swept away into that.
“So I was on the mix stage with Bernie Joyce, our really fabulous head of post, another person who'd been there since the beginning, and I said to her, 'I wish we could say, “No centaurs were harmed during the making of this picture.’” She said, 'We can!' It was like my fourth grade joke, which I thought was funny, and now somebody was telling me I could do it. So I was really excited about doing it!
“From then on, Bernie and I came up with one for every episode. It was such a total vacuum, because all that mattered was that it had to make me laugh. Other people then started to suggest stuff too, but frankly, if I didn't think it was funny, I wouldn't use it.
“So it was my little area where I got to have control and be a bit of a dictator, and they escalated more and more as we went along.”